Cards-Padres: Dunno who to root for here. Cards, ick. Padres (teary remembrances of 1984): hell, no.

White Vs. Red: I don't care if it makes me a baseball bigamist, I'm cheering for the White Sox. I want a Chicago team to win the World Series before I die.

Yankees vs. Angels: Sorry, sweetie, I gotta pull for the Angels.

Finally:

Lord, if you bless me with children, please let me look as good as Jeanne Zalasko when I'm preggers.